You know those times when you think of the perfect thing to say, only its about an hour too late? I think it usually happens in some sort of a fight or flame war, but it’s not always the case. For instance, my friends and I talking about the new X-men movie:
SPOILER ALERT (whatever, the movie sucked anyway)
R: What was your favorite plot twist?
E: How the main guy is obsessed with killing all the mutants by cutting their heads off, yet he forgets to protect weapon XI from this, who in turn gets his head chopped off.
Moments later, I realized I had just missed out on a possible pun. The best “plot twist” should have been the twisting of weapon XI’s decapitated head. Or something along those lines. Damn shame.
These sort of stories are always crappy to tell. In a way, the story already has a suboptimal punchline. Is it OK to lie and pretend you were more clever to begin with? Or do you sacrifice the possibility of a great story, accepting the defeat? After all, it in fact did not happen.
The most memorable “should’ve said that instead” case for me was almost four years ago. My girlfriend and I got tickets to a David Sedaris reading at a small bookstore in Capitola. We actually got 2 of the last 3 tickets, so we were really lucky. Anyhow, we knew it’d be crowded so we went a few hours early. About half an hour before the show, David Sedaris arrived and was walking around with the owner. At some point, he walked by me, and for some reason, I decided to tap him.
He turned around: “Yes?”
“Sorry”, I replied. Why did I touch him? I have no clue. He was probably thinking the same thing as he then turned and continued conversing with the owner. Meanwhile, I was realizing that I really should’ve said:
Sorry, I thought you were someone else.
maybe you have the same superpower as kayla from x-men and you touched david sedaris in order to seduce him and/or force him to walk until his feet bleed?
you definitely touched him. :P